6 KEYS TO KEEPING THE MAGIC IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Before the arguments, responsibilities, and kids, you were thinking of
ways to spend more quality time. By the umpteenth year, you’re
contemplating ways to get away on your own. It’s a process that all
long-term relationships endure. But this process, ironically, can also
strengthen your loving bond: the more you overcome together, the
stronger you become together.
Once you realise this fact, you and your partner can work towards
re-establishing that light-hearted magic that was abundant in the
beginning. Believe me that if it was there once, it can be revived.
Take these tips to reignite the romantic spark and uphold your chemistry well after the first few years:
1. Anticipate change
People are constantly changing: who you are now is not who you were last
year, last month, or even last week. But unlike a teenager passing
through puberty, change isn’t always obvious. It’s easy to become
oblivious to your partner’s changes because you see this person so
often.
Understand how your loved one is transforming and adapt yourself to him
or her. In the case of physical change, make it known to your partner
that you notice the new look: always compliment a different hairstyle,
weight loss, fresh wardrobe, etc. Remain well ahead of changes by
preparing for the next phase of your relationship and strategising how
you’ll pass through it side by side.
You should also ask yourself this question regularly: Is my relationship
evolving, or only changing? A relationship should not only shift, but
shift positively over time as both partners work to resolve outstanding
issues. Evolve in the same direction as your significant other. If this
is not happening, it’s time to evaluate at what point the relationship
became stagnant.
2. Keep out external influences
Nothing kills the magic of a good relationship quite like a jealous
friend, a spiteful mother-in-law, or the drinking buddy who cajoles your
partner to stay out all night. Such negative influences must be cut out
like weeds!
Come to a mutual agreement with your partner to adopt an
us-against-the-world mentality: never to speak badly of one another to
outsiders, not to allow yourselves to be swayed by other people, and
always to consult each other first.
3. Maintain emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy is the glue of any love relationship. It is knowing
what your partner needs before they even get a chance to ask – feeling
their emotions, needs, and desires as if they were your own.
Emotional intimacy is much more powerful than physical intimacy because
it delves deep into your loved one’s wishes, fears, and hopes. Maintain
this sense of intimacy with your partner by paying attention to how
they’re behaving day by day: what’s bothering them? What can you do to
relieve their worries? Comprehend what it is that your partner needs
most from you at any given moment – is it to be nurtured or to be left
alone?
This sense of “knowing” your significant other will keep you perfectly in tune as a couple.
4. Go on new adventures
The daily grind becomes boring to say the least. Doing the same things
every day can quickly kill the spark. Break out of routine as often as
you can. Travel with your partner, even if it’s a road trip or a weekend
getaway. Try new restaurants and take up new hobbies. Even if it’s
something out of your comfort zone, find joy in the fact that you’re
engaging in a different activity with your other half.
5. Ask
There’s a wrong way and a right way to communicate. The wrong way is
bombarding your partner with all of your problems as soon as they walk
through the door after a long day at work. The right way is waiting
until they unwind, then gently bringing up one subject of genuine
concern (one, not 20).
Ask about their day before you begin. Find out what’s important to them,
what are their plans, how can you help, etc. Listen intently when they
open up to you before responding. It’s important to get your partner to
let their guard down before embarking on a subject you’re keen to
discuss.
Your partner is more likely to be receptive if you’re already engaged in a comfortable conversation.
6. Be sexy
Many men and women find that their sex drive dwindles after years of
being with the same person. Adrenaline and dopamine levels drop with
time and with them, the rush and excitement that accompany intercourse.
While this is normal, it is not a good indication.
Sex is an integral part of any good relationship; the moment that it
dries up is the moment a key component of the relationship is lost.
Beware not to lose your sexual appeal to your lover, or you run the risk
of them searching for it elsewhere. Strive to maintain a desirable
image for your loved one. This will boost your self-esteem, too. Take a
bit of time to get ready when they’re on their way, eat well, and
exercise regularly. Such activities will not only help you look good for
them; they’ll make you feel good about yourself.
Sex can certainly become better with time if the couple gets creative
and invents new ways of pleasing each other. Get a little daring and try
intercourse in different locations and positions or order an erotic
movie together.
Most couples simply stand by and allow the spark of their relationship
to fizzle out in time, partly because they believe there’s nothing to be
done. But with the right actions and added awareness, both partners can
rekindle the romantic fire so that it burns more strongly than even in
the beginning.
6 KEYS TO KEEPING THE MAGIC IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Reviewed by WANGOFIRA
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